what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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