I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
