I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
