Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
