Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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