singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
