I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize