He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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