Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Randomize
