I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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