Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
