Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
