It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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