dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
