Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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