Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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