Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
