I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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