She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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