Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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