It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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