Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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