Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
