the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
