She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
