if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize