Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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