Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
