How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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