My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
