so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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