Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
