shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
