I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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