so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
