i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
