WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
