1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
