We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
