Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
