Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
