he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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