You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
