You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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