I wish I could punch you in the face.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
