So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
