we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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