we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
