OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
