Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
