I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
