Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
