I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
