he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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