I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Everything about him screamed your future.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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