I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
