He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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