Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
