I think I died a long time ago.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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