omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I supernannyed him into submission
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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