College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
the condom got lost in my hair
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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