Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
